Let me tell you about my life. I am one of very few unique women to be born with a rare condition. The clinical term is Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome but since no one can pronounce that, we call it MRKH. To some people there is a stigma surrounding this syndrome. Yes, I said syndrome not disease, not defect, not flaw, not deformity. I wrote this article to help people who are misinformed, and therefore insensitive, could have a little insight.
Back to the syndrome or condition discussion, the reason I point this out is because we are not freaks or mistakes or deformed or flawed. We are unique and yes a little different, but there is nothing wrong with that. To clear up some things, everyone in our close-knit sisterhood obviously deals with the emotional aspects of this differently; so please if you are curious, tread lightly and be compassionate. Some personal things you should know about me are, no I do not hate women that can have kids naturally. Yes sometimes it hurts to see ultrasounds and pregnancy pictures, but I am not going to diminish someone else’s joy. Children are a gift that should be celebrated.
However, what I do not need to hear from you include the following. I understand that these things are not said to be insensitive, but seriously think before you speak;
“You’re so lucky you don’t have a period. Kids are a hassle you should be glad you have alone time. Aren’t you glad you can avoid the pain of childbirth?”
Now to some subjects that absolutely make my head want to explode. There are a certain few people that I have come across that are down right cruel. Some examples of things that make my heart want to stop beating to stop the hurting;
“Do you really think that’s fair to your husband, what if he wants a family? Did your parents just do drugs or something? What’s wrong with you? So you have to adopt? Isn’t that like buying a kid? Surrogacy? That’s so unnatural and wrong. You shouldn’t mess with God like that. Doesn’t that seem like maybe you just weren’t supposed to be a mother? Don’t you worry a man wouldn’t want to be with a barren woman?”
Yes, those are actual things that I have heard. Most of you that are just uneducated are well meaning, but please choose your words carefully. Something that affects so much of someone’s life is a very sensitive subject and some haven’t had as much time as I have to get thick skin. Be kind, we are just women. We are a little different, we have had a few more challenges than some but we are human just like any other person. MRKH hasn’t changed who I am in my heart, but it has altered my perception and strengthened me. The stigma attached to this is unnecessary with all of the tools at everyone’s disposal. We are a sisterhood of women who are strong, resilient and brave; most of all we are fighters. Don’t feel sorry for us; we do not want pity. We never give up and we will never stop fighting our fight!
To all of my sisters and anyone fighting any battle of their own: Stay strong, stay positive and stay kind!!! Thank you for taking time to read my article. Much love to all of mankind.